We Didn't Ask to Be Adopted - Adoption Truth

It is an undeniable truth that adoption should never be forced upon infants or children. Even if intended to "complete a family," the act is an extreme intrusion on a child's autonomy.

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Adoption and Identity: Navigating Changes and Boundaries

Adopted individuals find themselves thrust into the world of adoption without a say in the matter. This experience often leaves a profound impact on their sense of self. The very moment of their birth becomes a critical juncture where their boundaries are shaped. Boundaries, typically thought to develop during adulthood, take a different form for adoptees. In this blog, we will explore the intricate dynamics of forced adoption, the ramifications of crossed boundaries, and why empowering individuals with choice in adoption is vital.

The Impact of Forced Adoption on Adopted Individuals

Forced adoption, an experience not immediately apparent to those who haven’t lived through it, leaves a lasting mark on an individual’s identity. From the very beginning, adopted individuals are expected to adapt and conform to the expectations of their adoptive parents. It’s a survival instinct, a way to prevent abandonment. They learn to ‘please’ their adopters because they believe it’s the key to securing their place in this new family. Their true feelings are often suppressed out of fear of rejection or disappointment. Hyper-awareness of the feelings and needs of others becomes their compass to navigate unfamiliar terrain. Their boundaries are sometimes compromised as they adjust their behavior to gain acceptance.

The Survival Instinct: Pleasing Adoptive Parents

It is an undeniable truth that adoption should never be forced upon infants or children. Even if intended to “complete a family,” the act is an extreme intrusion on a child’s autonomy. Adopted individuals may find themselves in situations where their safety is compromised, trapped in an environment from which they can’t escape.

Challenges of Adopting Older Children: Breaching Boundaries

Adopting older children can be equally problematic when adopters attempt to shower them with affection. Though it may seem like a well-intentioned effort, it can breach their boundaries. Older children, in particular, may be wary of getting too close, not because they have a disorder but because they’re trying to protect themselves. They’re attempting to maintain a sense of control in a world that has felt uncontrollable.

Forced Adoption: Understanding the Lasting Consequences

The limits and boundaries of adopted individuals should be taken seriously, just like anyone else’s. Forced adoption, where the choice is taken away from the individual, can have negative consequences that persist throughout life. Adoption, it’s believed, should only occur when the individual is old enough to genuinely assess whether it is necessary and desired. It’s vital to recognize that choosing adoption will result in changes to their original birth certificate, potentially limiting their access to crucial information about their identity. Is this truly in their best interest?

Empowering Individuals: Advocating for Informed Adoption Decisions

In conclusion, adoption is a complex issue, and the importance of choice cannot be overstated. Society must advocate for a system that empowers individuals to make informed life decisions. Forced adoption, a practice that deprives individuals of the fundamental right to choose their path, can have deep and lasting consequences. Let us strive for a world where adoption is a choice made with full awareness, consent, and the well-being of the adopted individual at its heart. Only then can we ensure that adoption truly serves the best interests of all involved.

A blog inspired by The Search for Mother Missing: A Peek Inside International Adoption